Switching to Harpoon

Posted: Thursday, April 29, 2010 by Greg in

Quick, name five major US cities. Go.

Without any bias, in the order in which they came to mind, my list is:
- New York City
- Los Angeles
- Boston
- Miami
- Atlanta

Depending on where you are from, Chicago and Detroit could have ended up on that list as well. In this case, expanding the list would only strengthen the point I am going to make. Out of all the cities listed, and we will use all seven just because, only ONE doesn't even have a semi-respectable hip-hop scene. Name it.

If you guessed Boston, you've successful discovered my one gripe with the city I otherwise loved for all four years of my college life. Being a hip-hop fan in Boston was kind of like trying to go vegan when your father owns a cattle ranch. At some point, there really is no use trying anymore.

In all honesty, its pretty upsetting. I averaged a show/concert every three weeks in college, and only about three or four total were hip-hop. It's not that I missed some that came around, its just that there are none to begin with. Sure, there was enough pop-punk and post-hardcore shows to ALMOST compete with New Jersey (that's right, bitches) but there were still plenty of venues with open dates for a rapper or two to drop in for a quick set, they simply chose not to. And all the while, not one Boston-bred rapper was breaking into the mainstream.

I could never figure out why. Until now.

Let's revisit that list for a moment. New York and SoCal each have enough hip-hop history to start a museum. Miami has Pitbull and Plies, and Atlanta has always had Ludacris. Chicago has Kanye West, whether it wants to or not, and Eminem probably owns half of Detroit by now. Who does Boston get to claim, you ask? Sammy Fucking Adams.

You need to be kidding me with this shit. First of all, I don't care who you are, it is never OK to sample "Walking On Broken Glass" by Annie Lennox. Period. That's like Diddy doing a remix to Wham!. You just don't do it.

Second, I'm not sure who told Jason Mraz's little brother he could be an MC, but thats some bad advice right there. Sweet cardigan dude, I bet they love to hear you spit some bars after tennis practice. I always knew the Happy Days look would take over hip-hop sooner or later.

Third on my list of problems with this song is how this guy drags innocent victims down with him.

"Boston stand up, we got 'em!"

Who's we? That's the kind of shit that keeps Boston from having a scene in the first place. This is the lyrical equivalent of having that drunk friend pick a fight at a college party and expecting EVERYONE he/she knows to throw down once it's on. I know a group of Boston rappers pushing mixtapes on a corner outside of a subway stop that wouldn't give this kid the time of day. Unless he bought a mixtape, of course.

I mean let's be honest. The beat is simple, the lyrics suck, the dude is corny, and things like this ensure Boston will never have a major mainstream rapper. The worst part of it all though? This guy just ruined my favorite beer forever. Title says it all. Now I gotta drink Harpoon until I supppress the memory of this. Thanks d-bag.


  1. Liz says:

    Hahaha, I would NEVER guess that Boston would have a hip hop scene and I know nothing about hip hop.

  1. S. Love says:

    hahaha. Id rather listen to Justin Bieber.